I was still on a high from my unexpected night of passion around the back of the local dump. I felt like I had a dirty little secret and only I and the handsome stranger (and my group chat) knew about it. I texted him on and off for a few days but I didn’t feel an over a whelming connection that made me want to continue pumping him, so throughout that week, the conversation dwindled and I moved on to bigger and better things. I had been speaking to a few matches online but was feeling exhausted filtering out all the time wasters and shaggers. This weekend I was attending my works annual Christmas Party in Edinburgh and I was looking forward to spending an overnight away with my colleagues getting pissed and recuperating in the spa afterward- with no men involved.

We arrived at the hotel and started drinking alcohol immediately. My ambitious expectations of not speaking to any males began to seem less achievable as soon as the Gin was pouring as I began admiring the impressive selection of cock this year. Lots of hot dilfs in expensive suits and mingling. I made eyes at a few but was conscious I had to behave in front of my colleagues. I was going to the bar more frequently than I needed scanning the room lustfully for some male attention which I ever so desperately desired. Walking the longest route back and forth to the bar until I finally set my sights on someone who couldn’t keep his eyes off me.

I strutted past the group he was with at least twenty times until one of the men eventually called me over and asked where I was from. Thank fuck for that, I thought I was beginning to clock up more miles than Mo Farah and my legs were cramping. They were also on a works night out and explained they were private investigators – which wasn’t very private when I found out as I shouted it around the bar for the rest of the night. One spy, in particular, caught my eye, he was very complimentary but not overly desperate as some of his mates had been. There was something that turned me on about his dangerous job and when he was telling me about his recent work my fanny once again began to tingle. He was an extremely well educated brainy big bastard and I enjoyed how he was also interested in my work and family life. He was about six ft three, broad shoulders and quite chubby. I honestly don’t mind a bit of cushion for the pushing as I always feel more body confident myself when they don’t have the perfect abs. He had a large full-on Jesus beard which I have never felt attracted too before, it was about an inch down from his face and underneath it, he looked quite baby faced. Perhaps, the beard was a disguise? Even that thought alone was making me wet. My mind started to wonder how ticklish that would feel rubbing against my face or better yet my arse but I knew tonight wouldn’t be the best night to find out. I was conscious however I was on a work’s night out and attempted numerous times to get back to my boss and friends but within seconds I’d be drawn back to the mysterious Hagrid looking giant making eyes at me from across the room. He was going to the bar and calling me over to get shots which I was happy to oblige with.  

Before I knew it he was “accidentally” placing his hand on my waist or touching my hair and each time he did it sent chills down my body. For a split second, I wondered how I was going to slip away from the crowd with him without looking like a massive slut in front of my colleagues, it was inevitable that someone would eventually find out as I was sharing a room and didn’t want to tarnish my professional reputation for one night and a super hungry fanny.  

The night was getting on and some of my closest friends were telling me how my bearded admirer was punching and there’s no way I could fancy him? Who were they to judge my taste in men I drunkenly thought. We all headed back upstairs for an after-party into my bosses room and I slipped my very own special agent my number. We began texting instantly and I giggled away glued to my phone pretending occasionally to keep up with the conversations taking place in the room. I asked my friend for the room card and offered my apologies as I was getting tired and wanted to get changed into my pj’s. She smiled at me suspiciously as I whispered, “Take your time” as I exited the room.  

I ran the few doors down and entered the room stripping off as quickly as I could. I ran a quick semi-warm sink, fucked some free hotel products in the water and immersed my full arse init, allowing my flaps to float around briefly whilst giving myself a little hotel birdbath. I was only in the sink for less than a minute when the door chapped, fuck, this must be him. I shoved on my pj’s and greeted the stranger from the bar into my room. I felt like I was welcoming Daniel Craig into my suite and felt so discreet that no one suspected a thing, but all I really wanted to do was suspect his gold member. As soon as he entered we began kissing, I started to undress him starting with his suit and unbutton his pristinely white shirt. He stopped kissing me momentarily and said,

“Can we turn off the lights babe?”

My heart sank, no, no, no, there were only two things this could mean, one he didn’t fancy me, or two he had a small dick and right now I prayed it was the first explanation. I was not going through all this planning to be hit with a spider’s leg. I smiled at his request holding back the fury and replied, “course”.

He grabbed me and lifted me in his arms, Oh, I like this, I thought. We were kissing in the air and he reminded me of a sexy lumberjack oozing masculinity and sporting his big manly beard. We headed towards the bed and the kissing was getting more and more heated. I casually skimmed my hands past his boxers pleading I was going to find a big angry Cobra but instead, my theory was confirmed, shrimp dick. My fanny immediately began to dry up and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to continue. What was the fucking point, I thought. He was groping my boobs and I started to say,

“I don’t wanna have sex.”

“That’s ok babe, If I’m being honest I’ve just been dying to taste you all night, let me lick please.” He whispered.

Wow, that’s an offer and a half, I began to take his offer into consideration whilst his sexy eyes started to get lower and his mouth was blowing hot air through my pajama bottoms so much so I was suddenly aware of my fanny’s pulse. I started to feel horny once more and thought, well what am I losing out on? He began to undress me and started licking and stroking me. I watched as his head bop up and down whilst I was trying to position my body in the exact angle so he knew exactly where to lick. Bingo, he finally got into a decent rhythm and was knawing at my clit, like a dug eating beetroot. He continued until I was completely satisfied and I managed to expel my pussy juice all over his sexy beard.

Wow, I thought. On yourself, I thought. I attempted to pull his large body back up towards me with no success. He stayed down there staring up at me.

“I have to taste you again babe, you taste so fucking good”.

Well, when in Rome, I thought and continued to allow him to eat me for the second time that night. I lay there feeling empowered, it was so good to be the one receiving for a change. Sugar Daddy has never once gone down on me and I was beginning to have a complex about it but not anymore the past two weeks the men have been desperate for a lick and hey, as long as they know where to go I’m not complaining! He finished me off again and by this time my shaky legs were feeling exhausted and my eyes were beginning to close in the pitch-black room. Again, he began to kiss me some more, don’t get me wrong it was nice but a little needy and I was just dying to sleep when he started to make his way down for the third fucking time! I stopped and asked,

“Wait, what are you doing?”

“I NEED to taste you again, I just fucking have too”.  

Fucking hell, I thought. Is he some sort of lizard? His tongue must be throbbing.

What had they put in the hotel soap these days because this cunt can’t get enough of it. I was so grateful I had time for a quick fanny dip or this night could have ended up a lot worse. I started to feel guilty, he cant give me three lickouts and I’ve done nothing. I expressed my concerns to him,

“I feel bad, I’ve not done anything to you”. I whispered.

“Tonight can be about you, I just have to go down.” He panted.

Fuck it, I’m not going to complaining- it’s not as if I’m going to see him ever again and the thought of pulling down his XL boxers exposing his XS penis was a disappointment I didn’t want to deal with half cut. So I allowed him to make me cum in his mouth for the third time, he was sooking and slurping so hard the thought of losing a lip in the process was a serious concern. The poor cunt never came up once for air and continued saturated in sweat and frustration. Whilst my vagina lay spread out like deformed pot of mince- feeling tender, soggy, excessively warm and my clit felt as big as a fucking fist.

I woke a few hours later with a headache and the sudden realization my roommate wasn’t back. I turned to admire my sexy bearded lumberjack to find he wasn’t as sexy as I first imagined. He was less lumberjack but instead bore the immediate resemblance of the bearded lady from The greatest Showman. I began to have flashbacks of people telling me how he wasn’t my type and I chose to ignore them. I examined his sleeping face and for a second wondered why his face was so shiny and red? I then realised my vaginal juices had left a slug trail embedded in his beard. How the fuck was he going to get that out? It looked like someone had brushed it with a toffee apple. My day two stubble also left its mark on his face because it was scarlet and inflamed but he had been eating me out the majority of the night. Poor guy didn’t even cum once and he’ll be leaving my room with a scabby face and crusty beard.

I woke him up and made an excuse for how my friends were trying to get in. He got dressed and said will I give you my number? I lifted my phone to kindly accept to which I found endless messages and missed calls from Sugar Daddy. My heart paused and I said,

“I’m sorry, I need to deal with these calls, I will see you at breakfast and give you it.”

I paced the floor nakedly over thinking unlikely reasons Sugar Daddy was trying to call. Maybe he has hired this guy as a secret investigator to see if I have sex with someone else and I’ve basically done everything but. I hadn’t heard from him in weeks and I didn’t know what to do. I opted for ignoring the messages and laying back in bed. I text my meant-to-be roommate that I was now unoccupied and she returned to the room to enlighten me that everyone knew I had invited Jesus back! GREAT!

I headed down to breakfast praying I didn’t cross paths with last night’s Clam muncher and joined the team for a quick de-brief and slagging match. Our table was the noisy one and everyone wanted to know all the details to which I explained- I don’t kiss and tell.  

“Did you get a number?” My boss asked.

“Naw, she got a few digits instead!” another replied.

I sat back taking all the jokes in my stride, secretly hoping the day would end quickly with the weight of Sugar Daddy now on my mind, what did he want? I was too scared to even ask him. My mind was doing overtime at the breakfast table and I couldn’t think or interact with my friends as normal. I turned round to my roommate who smiled as she whispered,

“Here, I think you need this one more than me”.